I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
