Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
