Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
