apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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