rhymes with "ouble enetration"
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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