So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
this boner is exhausting
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
