I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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