She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
