the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
