I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
