Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
