Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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