i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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