Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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