On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
