I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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