He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
This house was built for laser tag.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
