if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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