Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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