whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
