Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
