my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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