So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
