I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
