Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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