Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
