just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
