I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
