I heard we made out
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
