i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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