I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
