somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
