i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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