Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
