we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
