how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Enjoy the penises
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
