The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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