Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Randomize
