My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
