she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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