He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
