**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she smelled like a LAN party
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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