I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
