i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
