There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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