After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
