I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
