one two three fourrrrnication!
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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