NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
