Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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