WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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