Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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