how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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