Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
