absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
