Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
